There's nothing on the planet that makes me more sad than seeing people who are alone. Sometimes, I can almost not bear sitting in a restaurant where I see a person dining by him/herself. It may be that they are not truly lonely, but the appearance of someone dining alone breaks my heart--it reminds me of how many people are out there longing. We all push others away, becoming more and more distant as technology and social "codes" isolate us completely. It is looked on as a big gesture when you call a person on the phone to ask them how they're doing. It is strange to ask someone out in person. It is out of line to show up at someone's door for no reason but to see them.
We're this species that lives and breeds off intimacy, emotional and physical, but yet we keep creating and subscribing to these things that increase our separation from one another. We text others even when we sit with someone. We position ourselves on the bus, as far away from others as possible-sometimes standing to avoid eye contact with one another. We put in our music devices so we don't have to listen to anyone else. We remain silent and distant from the people around us until it is our turn to leave the vehicle.
I want more than that from people. I want people to show up at my house for a surprise visit. I want to meet new people everywhere I go. I want the whole LRT to engage in a song of 99 bottles of beer on the wall. I want someone to call me instead of text me, to send me a letter instead of a Facebook post, to make plans for adventures where we can meet people who want the same things. I want to find out about someone (about whom I care) from them and not from a status/twitter update. It seems we've distanced ourselves too much for "big" gestures.
I want this connection so badly but: I only sometimes talk to the person who looks lonely, only sometimes smile broadly at the woman eating alone in the restaurant, only sometimes talk to people on the bus or train. But I always listen to the people who talk to me and talk back, and smile back at the people who smile at me in a friendly manner. I want them to keep it up. I want them to keep smiling at and chatting with strangers--making even a fraction of a connection. Because, connections feel good. There are so many people in the city, in the country, in the world. I won't ever know them all but I want to know so many-starting with the loneliest.
